As I grow older I'm finding that all I want to do is hike. I love the sounds, smells, and different feelings of the forest. I love the feel of the ground as I walk. I look around and think "this is the way that our world once was, before humans so beautifully fucked it up."
I also love the solitude. I just want to walk, with my dog Lucky, into the deepest of nowhere, and stay there, and never come back.
Jaded
During the week, aggressive drivers buzz me on the highway, scammers call me on the phone trying to cheat me, and I read newspaper reports all week long of humans stealing, cheating, harming animals, and killing one another. What's up with our species? Why are we so violent and downright mean to one another? And why are we so extremely dysfunctional?
My mom called yesterday and said she can't use the bathroom at her favorite park because someone vandalized the bathrooms. More accurately, they just stole all the fixtures -- they even took the light switches out of the sockets. People steal anything that isn't nailed down, and even things that ARE nailed down. I'm disgusted.
History
In the late 700s the Vikings set sail and began plundering and looting coastal cities throughout Europe. As if Middle Age life wasn't bad enough, you always had to worry about a group of longboats showing up at your town. If a guy knocked on your door wearing a horned helmet it's a safe bet that it wasn't the Avon lady or a Jehovah's Witness.
I like to think that humanity has made some progress in the last 1,600 years, but I'm not sure that we have. We don't have those nonstop continental European wars anymore, but we are still uncivil, rude, greedy, selfish, and hurtful to one another in a hundred different ways. Whether it's physically or with harsh words, people are always inflicting pain on their fellow humans.
The Hike
So, more and more I just want to get away from it all. In the last few years I've found myself loving animals more and humans less. For the most part, animals are the victims of these rapidly multiplying and all-consuming creatures called humans. When I see a dead possum on the side of the road I hurt. Our stupid automobiles kill them daily by the hundreds. God gives no mercy to these animals or any other. All living creatures are at the mercy of their fate.
Anyway, on a more positive note, I recently downloaded a cool new app called AllTrails. The app finds hiking trails in your area, starting from the closest to the farthest. I've hiked most of the trails in the metro Atlanta area and I was anxious to find one that I missed. Sure enough as I scrolled through the app I found a 200-acre park called Clinton Nature Preserve, located in west Georgia. It is only 30 minutes away so Lucky, my dog, and I jumped in the car and headed west. As I left the suburbs and entered the rural countryside I could feel my blood pressure dropping and my body relaxing. I love being in nowhere land, away from the rat race.
The park is on land donated by a woman, who stipulated that the property could never be developed. The land features a lake, some pioneer homesteads, and numerous hiking trails. The longest trail is 4.3 miles, which is perfect for a day hike —Lucky and I will take on that trail next.
My Reflections
Part of me just wants to be a loner and hike forever. I've traveled, I did the marriage and family thing, I've been in love several times, and had my heart broken several times. I had a successful career as a magazine editor, and I spent years as an environmental activist. In short, I've done the whole life thing. Part of me wants to say, "I'm done, now it's time to just start hiking ... hiking on the dirt of past stars ... and hiking until I become dust for the next star."
Life didn't turnout exactly the way I wanted but in unexpected ways it did turn out just fine. I've gotten to travel, I've had relationships, and I've met amazing people who forever made my life better. I do not have a single complaint about my life, and I have few regrets. My biggest regret is that I wish I had of made better financial and career decisions. For a while, I had the attitude of "the heck with it, I'll deal with THAT later" and now later has arrived.
While my "regrets" have changed over the years, my other big regret is my lack of focus. I've gone through my whole life as a poet and a dreamer. My second grade teacher called me the Absent Minded Professor because I was always far away in a daydream and couldn't focus on the immediate tasks before me. My brain is always in deep thought, trying to figure out world problems or replaying some event from the past. I'm always somewhere else, so it only makes sense that I spend the rest of my life where I really want to be, which is somewhere else.
Photo: Aaron Burden
